Am I rich? My friends all say that I am :$?

Julia

I don't mean to brag, I just want an honest answer.
- I live in a 5400sqf house that overlooks a river valley and forest. It has 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, and all bedrooms have walk-in closets. My bedroom furniture is from Restoration Hardware. The kitchen is pretty big with an 11' island, 2 sinks, and appliances all from GE monogram (4' wide fridge and stove, dishwasher, wine fridge, microwave). I have two fireplaces, one large 2-storey stone one in the family room, and another in the master bedroom. I also have a home gym, home theatre, library and a bar in the basement.
- the furniture is all from really nice and expensive stores
- I have 2 cats and 2 dogs
- the backyard has an outdoor kitchen, dining area, pool, vegetable garden, hot tub, outdoor stone fireplace, and cabana.
- both of my brothers play rep hockey, and I figure skate ($12000/year)
- I have $1100 figure skates and I get new ones every two years.
- I shop mainly at aritzia, fcuk, a&f, and scotch and soda.
- us three and my mom all have Canada Goose jackets
- my brother and I both have iPhone 4s, and my other brother has a blackberry.
- we all go to public school because our parents think it gives you a better education than private school.
- my dad has an iphone and an iPad, and we kids all have iPod touches. My mom has a blackberry.
- we go on vacations 2-3 times a year. In the summer usually to someone else's cottage or out west, during Christmas break we usually go skiing and visit family, and during march break we either go skiing, to Europe, or to the Carribean. We always stay in the nicest hotels and resorts.
- we often go to hockey games, baseball games, and concerts throughout the year
- we have three cars: a Lexus suv, a Lexus convertible, and a Honda pilot. My dad also has a Harley.
- my dad is a member of a really fancy yacht club.

Sorry, it does sound a little like I'm bragging, but all I'm looking for is an honest answer.

Answer
I would say upper middle class. Some of the things you have are stuff I have even though my family is in debt.

I have an iPhone 4S, I go on probably 3 or so vacations a year (although not at places like europe...), I have a 6 bedroom house, i used to go to private school...


but you also have stuff my family would NEVER afford. I vote upper middle class but it also depends on like your parents income (which is probably a good amount)

A matter of ethics, I think?

Nekai - RI

I have asked this in 'Parenting' but foudn this category afterwards.
Definitely a matter of ethics.

I'm not too sure where to ask this, I figured most parents would have an answer for this, though.

Here's the situation: my son's best friend (18 now) has been living with us for over a year. We're in Canada and Social Services has refused to help him because of an abuse allegation that has happened within his family, which has him being unable to receive financial support from the Gov if he is living in a home with any child under the age of 16. It's a huge battle in itself, already and we are still fighting it. When this boy came to live with us, my son was 15 (now going on 17). Even tho he is the one who was abused, Social Services feels he may be at risk to offend ... messed up. Completely. He's a good kid; still in school and working a job this summer now.

Recently his mother was forced to disclose that he no longer lives with her and is not collecting any money - I made sure she was cut off from everything possible when it came to support for a child as she was milking (and still does) the Gov for all she can. She is on a disability along with welfare - she is completely, mentally insane and unable to care for any of her three children. So with this change, the boy is being awarded some money that would have normally gone to his mother for him, but she always kept it. She figures, since she gave him the money in advance, that once this cheque comes that he should repay her. My opinion is that the money that she figures he owes her, SHOULD come to me. She has not given us ONE penny for supporting him. Ever. I buy shoes, school supplies, food, clothing, etc. She buys nothing.

I feel that I have been more than patient. This boy can have some of the money, but the majority should go to us is what my honest opinion is.
Chetco,

Agreed. Both boys get an allowance for chores, ie the dogs feeding, cleaning, horses, mowing the lawn, etc. They are not without and I've never had them feel they were, either.
Dividing and making one understand that keeping a portion of themoney is not profitable to me but 'helping' in his stay, is a difficult one. I have taken him shopping a few times to show him the cost of 'life' and had him do bills with me, as well. I would hope he'd understand :)
Thinking;
I appreciate the time you took to point out both sides of the situation.
The mother, is in fact, a heavy marijuana user - this is a small town and much is known about everyone. Her and her live-in are both collecting monies from the Gov but do not disclose that they live together. There is much more to the financial situation than I can even explain. She is not 'well off' by any means, but nor is she suffering. I have had her cut off from welfare recently as she was lying about other income and the man staying with her, and having her son in the home. Oh my, I could go on and on. But this money she does NOT need.
You have helped me see it from both sides. I do feel that my decision to have her son not repay is the right one. She is at no loss without that money.

Answer
I'd be straight up with the kid. He's old enough to understand that there are costs that arise simply because he lives with you. Extra food, electricity, laundry, wear and tear on the home etc...

I was a foster kid through my teenage years (and on and off prior to then). My foster parents had to buy a larger home so that I would have a bedroom, furniture, more wood to heat the basement (where my bedroom was) a bigger car, extra gas to pick me up from athletic events, money to participate in school activities etc.. Do I begrudge them the bits of money they "made" by having me there? HELL NO! Their expenses for me far outweighed the money they received - yes, they ended up with a bigger house and a newer car but *I* ended up being the beneficiary.

And years later my habit is much the same as theirs... we have a communal family style - yeah, it's counter to what the usual is in the US but it works for us... and helps everyone in the family.

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