Q. I've been married about 1 year to my wife after living together for 5. We recently had a baby boy together 3 months ago. We get along great.
She has 3 daughters from a previous marriage ages 18, 21 and 24. Her children, who do not live with us, currently rent their own house together for $1,500 monthly.
The problem is my wife practically gives her entire paycheck to help out her daughters pay their rent and utilities. Her kids are not lazy or freeloaders but genuinely need help financially while they all attend college fulltime and work partime.
They choose not to live with us due to a combination of reasons. #1. I bought my house before I married their mother therefor they sort of feel its not their house. #2. Being raised by a single mother, they were given alot of freedom to make their own decisions in life be it good or bad therefor creating their own rules and relaxed lifestyles. #3. I have strict beliefs in rules in my home regarding scheduling chores, curfues, no male friends in bedrooms or sleepovers and so on.
They are growing into fine young adult women with good heads on their shoulders who are struggling to succeed in life but are too busy and set in there ways to adjust to living under someone elses household rules which i understand.
My wifes paycheck is gone after assisting her daughters and comments that she "did the hardest part already" which was to give birth to my first child that I wanted therefor I should be finacially responsible for everything regarding that child and all the main household expenses . She dosent want her older kids to feel as though she has abandoned them to start a new life with me (maybe out of guilt for divorcing there biological father who is completely out of there lives). Should i insist that she become more financially involved with our new baby or just let things continue the way they are while i struggle to pay all the expenses and hope her daughters become financially independent.
She has 3 daughters from a previous marriage ages 18, 21 and 24. Her children, who do not live with us, currently rent their own house together for $1,500 monthly.
The problem is my wife practically gives her entire paycheck to help out her daughters pay their rent and utilities. Her kids are not lazy or freeloaders but genuinely need help financially while they all attend college fulltime and work partime.
They choose not to live with us due to a combination of reasons. #1. I bought my house before I married their mother therefor they sort of feel its not their house. #2. Being raised by a single mother, they were given alot of freedom to make their own decisions in life be it good or bad therefor creating their own rules and relaxed lifestyles. #3. I have strict beliefs in rules in my home regarding scheduling chores, curfues, no male friends in bedrooms or sleepovers and so on.
They are growing into fine young adult women with good heads on their shoulders who are struggling to succeed in life but are too busy and set in there ways to adjust to living under someone elses household rules which i understand.
My wifes paycheck is gone after assisting her daughters and comments that she "did the hardest part already" which was to give birth to my first child that I wanted therefor I should be finacially responsible for everything regarding that child and all the main household expenses . She dosent want her older kids to feel as though she has abandoned them to start a new life with me (maybe out of guilt for divorcing there biological father who is completely out of there lives). Should i insist that she become more financially involved with our new baby or just let things continue the way they are while i struggle to pay all the expenses and hope her daughters become financially independent.
Answer
Just how bad do you really want to upset the family status quo here? It sounds like shes pretty set with helping her daughters now, but the good thing college is only temporary and they should be moving on soon, hopefully. The only thing I see you accomplishing here now is to start WWIII over something which most of us would side with you. It probably wont do much good to confront her so begin to pray those college years pass real quick. Good luck
Just how bad do you really want to upset the family status quo here? It sounds like shes pretty set with helping her daughters now, but the good thing college is only temporary and they should be moving on soon, hopefully. The only thing I see you accomplishing here now is to start WWIII over something which most of us would side with you. It probably wont do much good to confront her so begin to pray those college years pass real quick. Good luck
where is the best place to buy a bed?
maddenplay
Answer
what are you looking for in a bed -- quality, construction, wood, or metal? where is this bed going -- master bedroom, teen, child, guest, etc? what style are you looking for -- traditional, modern, contemporary, french, country, asian, etc? and what is your price range -- low, medium, high, money is no object?
to start off.. you can go to the lower end places (under $1,000 -- or even under $500!), beds you buy, take home in your car and put together yourself, usually made of MDF wood composite, or regular metal frames: Ikea, Target, Sears, etc. If shopping for a child, teen or fresh in college's bed.. Ikea is probably your best bet. you build it yourself, and styles are contemporary, and cheap enough that you can throw it out (or donate) when they outgrow the style.
Middle end ranges (under $4,000) start to get a little more open in designs, and the quality is upped a lot. Woods are solid or hardwood, iron cast beds, delivery required and in most cases will set up/build for you: Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, West Elm, Crate & Barrel, Z Gallerie, Brocade Home, Shabby Chic, Design Within Reach, etc.. For this range, it's more for the newlyweds, first home buyers, and college grads that are ready to "grow up".. The styles range so widely, so it's hard to say which one is the best.
Higher ends are more specifically designed, similar benefits from middle range, but better woods, finishes, construction and warranty: Ralph Lauren Home, Diva, Armani Home, Williams Sonoma Home, Between The Sheets, Environment Furniture, etc. These are for the well off and typically for the master suites when the kids have all grown up and left the nest and it's your turn to get yourself the best (retail) life has to offer. Custom made beds & headboards hand carved or made to order.. truly a luxury.. My personal favorite is RL Home for the classic styles, and Armani Home for the contemporary.
what are you looking for in a bed -- quality, construction, wood, or metal? where is this bed going -- master bedroom, teen, child, guest, etc? what style are you looking for -- traditional, modern, contemporary, french, country, asian, etc? and what is your price range -- low, medium, high, money is no object?
to start off.. you can go to the lower end places (under $1,000 -- or even under $500!), beds you buy, take home in your car and put together yourself, usually made of MDF wood composite, or regular metal frames: Ikea, Target, Sears, etc. If shopping for a child, teen or fresh in college's bed.. Ikea is probably your best bet. you build it yourself, and styles are contemporary, and cheap enough that you can throw it out (or donate) when they outgrow the style.
Middle end ranges (under $4,000) start to get a little more open in designs, and the quality is upped a lot. Woods are solid or hardwood, iron cast beds, delivery required and in most cases will set up/build for you: Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, West Elm, Crate & Barrel, Z Gallerie, Brocade Home, Shabby Chic, Design Within Reach, etc.. For this range, it's more for the newlyweds, first home buyers, and college grads that are ready to "grow up".. The styles range so widely, so it's hard to say which one is the best.
Higher ends are more specifically designed, similar benefits from middle range, but better woods, finishes, construction and warranty: Ralph Lauren Home, Diva, Armani Home, Williams Sonoma Home, Between The Sheets, Environment Furniture, etc. These are for the well off and typically for the master suites when the kids have all grown up and left the nest and it's your turn to get yourself the best (retail) life has to offer. Custom made beds & headboards hand carved or made to order.. truly a luxury.. My personal favorite is RL Home for the classic styles, and Armani Home for the contemporary.
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